2D or not 2D
by Spyder1070
Summary: After being mean to 2D, yet again. Murdoc begins receiving strange phone calls. ONE SHOT


**2D or not 2D.**

2D is sitting on the floor of his bedroom, recovering from yet another of Murdocs nightly visits. His face twisted in an angry scowl he clenches his fists tightly in his lap. The Keyboardist, has had enough. He stares at his bedroom door. His black hole eyes almost seeming to burrow through it to the car park and in the general direction of Murdocs Winnie. 'How to pay him back?' The young man wonders and leaning his back against the side of his bed. He quietly starts to think.

The next morning at breakfast. 2D sits eating a large bowl of Corn Flakes, watching Murdoc snarling at someone on his mobile. He grins and goes back to eating.

"What the fuck are you lookin' at?" Murdoc hisses at the Keyboardist, slamming his phone shut. 2D stops chewing and looks down into his bowl. He shuffles his feet and slumps his shoulders, trying to look small. Murdoc leans forwards and over the table towards the young man. Grinding his shark-like teeth and looking hard at the youth. 2D becomes increasingly more uncomfortable, as Murdoc slowly but steadily moves closer and closer.

"Nufink." 2D mutters into his bowl. He swallows hard and stirs his cereal with the spoon. Murdoc grins and slumps back in his chair.

"Really? From the look you had on yer face. I'd of thought you had finally found your first pube? Ah haw, haw, haw." the Bassist chuckles and grabbing a toothpick from behind his ear, starts picking his teeth. 2D looks sharply up at him.

"Wot?" the Keyboardist asks, scowling a little.

"Joking. Joking." the old man smiles sarcastically.

That afternoon. Murdoc is sitting in the cinema. Watching the original 'Omen'. His feet resting on the back of the seat in front of him and drinking Rum from the bottle. He yawns a little and stretches, arching his back. When suddenly his mobile rings. Rolling his eyes and calling back for the movie to be paused, he answers it.

"Yeah. What?!" he snaps down the line and takes another swig from the Rum bottle.

"Good movie?" An unfamiliar voice asks. Murdoc shakes his head confused and swallows hard.

"What?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"The movie you are watching? Is it good?" the voice asks again. Murdoc pulls the phone slowly from his ear and looks around the empty cinema. Then licking his lips, he looks hard at the phone again, slowly bringing it back to his ear.

"Who the fuck is this?" he snarls down the phone, only to have it hung up in his ear. He stares at it a moment, before closing it. Thinking hard for a moment, he tries to place the voice. Not getting anything straight away, he shrugs and goes back to watching his movie.

Later in the toilet. Murdoc is interrupted by the phone ringing again. He answers it.

"I'm busy. So make it quick." he growls.

"Oh I know. I was just wondering if you had seen the blond on page 8?" an unfamiliar voice asks. Murdoc realizes this is the same voice as before and his eyes grow wide.

"What?" he asks shocked.

"Page 8? In the little red leather corset?" the voice adds.

"Who the fuck is this?!" Murdoc shouts down the phone. But once again it hangs up. He shuts the phone and looks down at the porno in his other hand. Hesitating for a moment. He slowly opens it to page 8. Sure enough, there is a very nice large breasted blond, in a little red leather corset. He slams the magazine closed and looks around the cubical nervously.

Three days and many of the same kinds of phone calls later. Murdoc is in the Winnie, changing for a party, when the phone rings again. He snaps a look at it and doesn't really want to answer it. But knowing that it could be important, decides he should and picks up it up. Checking the ID and seeing that the number is withheld. He takes a deep breath and counts to three, before opening the phone.

"Yes?" he answers calmly.

"The dark blue shirt was much nicer." the voice says. Murdocs face turns bright purple with rage and he storms to the Winnie toilet. He tosses the phone into the bowl and tries to flush it. "Who the fuck are you???!!!!" He screeches at the phone, as it circles the bowl. The veins popping out in his neck and temples, his rage does not mask the obvious nervous twitch he is developing in the muscles at the corner of his eye. Not waiting for an answer, he slams the toilet lid shut and walks back to his bed. He stares down at the dark blue shirt he had, just a second before the phone had rung, tossed aside in favor of the purple one he had put on.

"Who the Hell is doing that?" he asks himself, scratching his head and looking around. He sits on the edge of the bed, trying to place the voice. But nothing seems even remotely familiar about it. Giving in. He stands and grabs his second phone from the table and heads to the door. He stops for a moment and looks back at the dark blue shirt. Then shrugging, walks back and changes into it.

The next morning. Murdoc is laid back in his bed pleasing himself. When his second phone rings. He reaches over and breathlessly answers.

"Busy." he sighs, closing his eyes.

"I know. You dirty old man." the same unfamiliar voice answers and quickly hangs up. Murdoc sits bolt upright in bed and stares wide eyed at the phone, the corner of his eye twitching madly.

"ARRGGHH!!!" he shouts at the top of his voice. "Who keeps doing that??!!!" he adds leaping from the bed. He grabs a hammer and places the phone on the table. Laughing like a lunatic, Murdoc smashes the mobile into tiny little pieces. Then dropping the lot into the Winnie toilet, he flushes it away.

Later at breakfast. Murdoc is sitting, rocking back and forth in his chair. Looking rapidly and nervously around the room. Russel is seated across from him, watching the old man and wondering what Muds is doing? Noodle is eating cereal. Not particularly interested in anything but the magazine she is reading. 2D is dozing quietly with his head on the table and a glass of orange juice in his hand. 2Ds mobile suddenly rings waking the young man. He sits up and answers it. Yawning and rubbing at his eye holes.

"Yes. Um? Who? Oh?" he looks over at Murdoc and holds out the phone to the old man. "It's for you. He says it's your Conshio..? Conshiush..? Conscious? Or summit." he shrugs.

Murdocs pupils shrink to pinpoints and the old man leaps from the chair away from him. His eye twitching madly, he points at the phone shakily, while backing slowly away from the table.

"Take it away! I'm not doin' anythin! Leave me alonnnne!!!" the Bassist screeches and runs screaming from the room, holding his hands over his ears. 2D blinks after Murdoc. Startled by the old mans rapid, screaming exit, he looks down to the phone in his hand and studies it closely, scratching his head. Satisfied that it really is just a mobile phone. He puts it back up to his ear.

"Um hello? Yeah. Ahh Murdoc can't come to the phone right now. I think he's havin' a break down or summit? Can I take a message?" the Keyboardist listens to the voice on the phone and nods. "Ok. Bye." he replies brightly, then hangs up. He takes one final look around the kitchen and sighs heavily, before putting his head back down on the table and going back to sleep. Russel and Noodle are sitting still as statues, staring at the kitchen door. Cereal drops from Noodles spoon and splashes back into her bowl. She looks down at it and back up to Russel.

"Ahh. Russel? If the music industry starts ahh affecting me like this." she says, pointing at the door Murdoc left by. "Ahh. Could you please shoot me?" she adds and smiles broadly. Russel smiles back and leans closer to her.

"Only if you do the same for me?" He replies. Noodle tilts her head and thinks a moment.

"Deal." she answers and shakes one of Russels large fingers to seal the deal. Then with a big sigh, they go back to their breakfast.

**The end.**


End file.
